In 2018, I did something drastic. I wiped myself off social media—deactivated my accounts and walked away. For someone who had devoted years to online marketing and social media, constantly engaging, posting, and tracking metrics, it was a weirdly abrupt change at a time when others had just started picking up TikTok and video feed engagement. But, I had hit a breaking point.
Those years were a mess. My marriage of four years ended in the worst way possible, my work situation was shaky, my finances were now questionable, and the political climate felt like an unrelenting firestorm. Everything I believed in suddenly felt like a lie. I was exhausted, disillusioned, and completely over the endless noise of online life. So, I logged out.
Rainy Days – Westside Boogie (Feat. Eminem)
At first, it was just about surviving. I wasn’t trying to reinvent myself—I just needed everything to be quiet. No scrolling, no reactions, no newsfeed pulling me into debates I didn’t have the energy for. But the quiet became addictive. Without the constant stream of opinions and updates, I had space to think for myself. And that’s when the real journey started.
I became obsessed with rebuilding my worldview from scratch. If everything I believed before had fallen apart, then I needed to start over with a better foundation—ideas I could actually trust. So, I threw myself into books, philosophy, history, economics—anything that could help me piece things back together in a way that made sense.
I read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, Tao Te Ching, On Liberty, The Conquest of Happiness, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, East of Eden, and Walden, among others—all these works about self-reliance, resilience, and questioning everything. But I wasn’t just stuck in the past. I dove into modern thinkers too—books like Tribe (Junger), Bowling Alone, Our Kids, Extreme Ownership, The Tipping Point, Determined (Sapolsky), Red Notice, and Nomadland reshaped how I thought about society, leadership, and human behavior.
At the same time, I was absorbing daily podcasts like Philosophize This!, Marketplace, The Gray Area, Hidden Brain, and The Ezra Klein Show. I wasn’t talking to anyone about this stuff—no Reddit, no Discord, no debates. Just me, a bunch of books, and way too much time to think. But I needed that. I needed to hear everything without feeling the need to react immediately, without letting some algorithm decide what was worth my attention.
And yeah, I won’t sugarcoat it—the years were lonely. Isolation is a double-edged sword. It gives you clarity, but it also makes you hyper-aware of how disconnected you are. There were days when I felt completely lost, like I had erased myself from the world without a plan for how to return. Depression hit hard. But eventually, things started to shift, thanks largely to support from family and close friends.
One of my closest friends offered me an unbelievable deal on rent to move back to California, bringing me closer to my personal network. I started running again, playing basketball. Reconnecting with my gamer roots during the COVID years—particularly through late-night 5v5 Flex LoL matches—provided an unexpected, meaningful escape during isolation. Additionally, countless hours spent strategizing over games like Teamfight Tactics, Civilization VI, and GM Modes in NBA 2K and MLB The Show unexpectedly laid a foundation for strategic thinking and planning, which I now realize have genuine value in business and real-life scenarios.
A lot has changed in the last 6-7 years. I’ve moved from Las Vegas, to Corona, to Montebello, and now—I’m preparing to return to Orange County. After re-entering the dating scene, I fell in love again in 2021 and remarried just last year.
Maybe it was the right mix of timing, mental clarity, and—let’s be honest—a little bit of pharmaceutical help. But for the first time in a long while, I feel like stepping forward instead of just standing still. I’m ready to talk again, to engage, but in a way that actually means something. Not for engagement metrics or algorithms, but because I have something real to say, and something tangible to offer this year. Just wait for what’s coming.
So, here I am, back in the online world, but on my own terms. I don’t care about likes or followers. I don’t care about outrage cycles or doomscrolling. What I do care about is discussing real ideas—economics, philosophy, government, business, investing, technology, and my first true love, music—things that actually shape the world and can be changed for the better. I want to connect with people who have been through the same thing, who’ve stepped away, rethought everything, and come back with something new to offer.
I’ve probably spent less than 15 total minutes immersed in video feed algorithms over the last seven years. I don’t mean that as a brag—I’m just trying to accurately convey the divergence in how we’ve likely been living our digital lives. While many have embraced the rapid-fire pace of endless short-form content, I chose a quieter, slower path, focusing on rebuilding my foundation through books, podcasts, and thoughtful silence. I’m hopeful this contrasting experience can lead to conversations that are meaningful and different from what you typically find in your feed.I don’t know who you are, where you’ve been, or what you’ve done—as long as you love me. Wait… where were we? Nevermind… The point is—I do finally know who I am.
If any of this resonates with you—if you’ve ever felt the need to unplug, rewire, and rebuild—I’d like to hear your story.
What books, ideas, or experiences reshaped the way you think? Let’s talk.
It’s nice to meet you. I’m Derek.
“Back then, I was nobody. Today, I am no one—And I’ve grown enough in the in-between time to understand the difference.” —Derek S, @thecontraire.com